It’s been four months since we completed our thru-hike of the Pacific Crest Trail and came back home. Four months since we touched the monument at the Canadian border, waved goodbye to our trail family and were abruptly thrown back into reality. Four months during which we struggled to re-adjust to the rhythms of “normal life” and to the conventions of our society, often feeling like fishes gasping for air, like thru-hikers without any dirt under their fingernails.

I think it is time for us to write about “Post Trail Depression”, not only to inform you about this interesting topic, but also to acknowledge (and hopefully start accepting) the feelings we are experiencing as “part of the adventure”.

Hikers’ experience

The post-trail experience is a very subjective topic that varies from individual to individual. I therefore decided to ask our Trail Family (PCT class of 2024) how they are feeling, four months after getting off trail and back to reality. Here is their feedback.

🥟 “Chef”
On the 20st of September 2024, almost four months ago, our PCT adventure was suddenly over. The pain in my feet is gone, but I still feel like we stopped walking yesterday.
Although I managed to jump back into my "normal life” right after coming back home, I quickly felt that something wasn’t right. My “normal life” is now not the same anymore. Before hiking the PCT, my weeks were filled by lots of activities with my friends: dinners, bouldering, running, cinema, game nights and so on. I now feel completely exhausted by these many social activities and I seek more “alone time”, more than I ever wanted. Maybe it’s just me getting older, but what I can definitely say is that I am not the same person anymore… the trail changed me.
They say "the trail provides". It is true, it provides many things, but not everything. As many other thru-hikers, I was looking for answers: "What should I do next in my life?", "Should I change job?", “What do I want from life?". The trail did not provide any answers to such questions, but rather made me ask new ones. I am currently trying to find out what is best for me. I am trying to take things slowly, avoiding to do too many plans and taking as much time for myself as I can.
I also feel the strong need to have a goal in mind. “Reaching Canada” was our goal on the PCT, and I now need something that drives me forward in life.
I have not yet found this goal.

*Chef at the Red’s Meadow Resort, Sierra Nevada, CA.*

👾 “Lilo”
Four months have already passed since completing the PCT, and I am still experiencing highs and lows.
I often still feel a sense of emptiness. I feel lost in a life that somehow doesn’t fit me anymore. I feel like I am just surviving in a limbo between “trail life” and “normal life”, without letting go, without really living. Even though I am trying so hard to feel better, I am struggling to find a goal, a purpose, a meaning… what should I even change to feel better?! I am so confused.
I also often feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. The worse is that I also avoid talking about the trail and about my feelings, because I am afraid of not being understood. I am therefore also disconnecting myself from the trail. It hurts.
Have I really walked from Mexico to Canada? Sometimes it does not even feel like it… I don’t even know if I brought home some lessons from the trail. But when I think about all the unique moments we had out there, I can’t hold the tears.
I guess I am still grieving, I am still processing it all, and I still need time.

☀️ “Easy Peasy”
During the first two months after finishing the trail, I was a mess.
A life without the trail seemed pointless to me. I was even paranoid about talking with people who didn’t experience that sort of trail life, because I felt that my feelings weren’t understood correctly by them. I felt lonely and ended up avoiding people. I couldn’t even smile like I always did before. It was torturous for me to live with that depression.
However, after that bad period, I found the next purpose of my life and a new job, which now allows me to live with a smile on my face.
Every time I think back of the trail, it’s always bittersweet memories for me. Sometimes I contemplate what is the meaning of what I’ve done in the USA. But I have a strong hunch that if I wouldn’t have made the decision to experience trail life, I would have never found the next purpose in my life. So, post trail depression also enabled me to see the world through a different lens, I guess.

*Easy Peasy hiking towards the Canadian border, WA.*

🦋 “Cleopatra”
I had heard of post trail depression prior to hiking the PCT and suspected I would experience some kind of comedown after spending so much time completely immersed in nature doing my all time favorite activity, but knowing about it doesn’t necessarily make going through it suck any less. It has helped me to keep in mind that my fluctuating mood is directly linked to the endorphin and dopamine drop out that occurs when one suddenly stops exercising outdoors 12 hours daily. Knowing this doesn’t stop these thoughts completely, but it does loosen their hold.
Sometimes it is hard to know that the perfect cure is out there, on the trail with my trail family, surrounded by the undeniable beauty and intensity of nature. But that is not compatible with the reality of my life right now. I am lucky enough to have a job that granted me a 5 month sabbatical to hike from Mexico to Canada, but re-entry to my work life has been tough. One day I am alone on a ridge looking out at glacial peaks, wind and sun warming and cooling my skin as birds of prey fly below. I blink, and suddenly I’m in a lab filled with 30 other investigators watching my every move as I document and disassemble a gas meter that may or may not have caused a fire, fluorescent lights whirring, cameras flashing, small talk filling my ears. The dissonance is enough to make my head spin some days.
I miss the simplicity and fullness of the summer I spent on trail and the way my body felt walking big miles day after day. I miss my trail family and friends who have scattered across the globe and the generosity I experienced from so many trail angles. I miss orienting my day around the rise and fall of the sun. I even miss filtering all of my drinking water, ml by ml, because of those precious moments spent sitting by creeks and streams, listening to the flow.
A couple of months have passed, and I’ve found that throwing myself back into the sports I love like acrobatics and skiing has helped some. I am also extremely grateful to my partner who has shown me such kindness and support on my darker days. I know this would have been a much harder transition without him. As the days grow longer, I find myself thinking of ways to spend more time outside this summer and be a better steward to the land.
Through the sadness, the great outdoors is still calling my name.

*Cleopatra enjoying a magical sunset, Sierra Nevada, CA.*

✨ “Pacman”
It has now been as long since I returned as the time I spent walking the PCT.
A stark realization that makes me reflect on the notion of lived time versus perceived time. It is the expression of a paradox that sometimes makes me feel like a stranger in this once-familiar, sedentary life.
Within me, through all these sensations, these scents, and the colors of the landscapes I crossed, the strength of that wild and extraordinary experience still lingers, along with the lessons it imparted. And yet, through a complex process whose contours I have yet to grasp - as if ensnared by the tentacles of my daily routine - it feels as though I must come to terms with the fact that all of it now belongs to the past. An experience framed and sealed beneath a pane of glass, its lines and textures fading with time. And yet, it’s not for lack of trying to revive fragments of those moments through conversations I attempt to spark since my return, though more often than not, they dissolve into trivialities that barely graze the reality that still pulses so vividly within me.
And so, time stretches and folds, separating what was lived from what remains. What was once my only reality now seems to float somewhere between memory and the intangible, like a light whose glow lingers behind closed eyelids. Perhaps this is what it means, in the end - to learn to coexist with a double sense of time: the one that is imprinted within us and the one that moves forward, indifferent.
But I choose to believe that I still need time to fully reclaim the essence of this singular and unforgettable experience, to let it take root within me and become part of who I am becoming. And in the meantime, why not lift my gaze toward new horizons, sketch new plans, set my sights on a new guiding star? After all, the path never truly disappears - it reinvents itself with every step.

*Pacman loughing at a picnic table of a campsite found on the Crater Lake re-route, OR.*

What is Post Trail Depression?

Post Trail Depression is commonly experienced by adventurers after completing a life-changing journey such as a thru-hike.

Returning back home can be hard, especially after spending a few months in the outdoors, following the simple rhythms of nature, hiking towards a clear goal and fulfilling a huge dream, around which your whole life was revolving.

🏙️ Just try to imagine:
You are on a thru-hike since a few months. You wake up when the sun rises and go to bed when it gets dark. Every day, you walk towards your goal and you only have to think about surviving. You feel at home, you feel strong, beautiful and understood, surrounded by an amazing like-minded community. Your perception of life and of what’s really important in life starts to change. You change.
All of a sudden, your thru-hike is over, you fulfilled your biggest dream and you are now thrown back into your “normal life”. There is no clear goal in front of you anymore. You enter a hectic routine, which causes the days to blur together. Everything you loved about your life on the trail is gone. In exchange you get stress, deadlines, responsibilities, people who judge you, people who simply don’t understand, and pressure to adjust to the norms of society.
You feel like the trail shaped you into a new version of yourself, and you now simply don’t fit into your previous (unchanged) life anymore.

*Canadian geese peacefully swimming at dusk in the Lost Lakes, Sierra Nevada, CA.*
*This is a special moment I always try to remember whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed.*

Post Trail Depression can hit in different ways. However, some frequent symptoms include sadness, nostalgia for the trail and its community, loneliness, decrease in energy and motivation. Some people also experience stress, anxiety, irritation, a sense of discomfort and disconnection, a loss of purpose and a loss of interest in what they used to enjoy before.

Let’s try to better understand why thru-hikers often suffer from Post Trail Depression and what are the reasons behind the development of such symptoms.

1: Goal achieved, now what?

Your biggest dream of completing a thru-hike came true. You achieved this huge goal around which your whole life was revolving around for a long time. And now, you suddenly feel lost and confused. You feel a sense of emptiness, because you don’t have a clear goal in front of you anymore. You are experiencing a loss of purpose.

Additionally, as a direct consequence, you might be now totally overwhelmed by big existential questions:

Now what?
What do I do next?
Which path should I follow?
What do I want my life to look like?
Should I change lifestyle?
Should I focus on my career?
Should I thru-hike again?

Pacman “jarring” his way across the woods between Quincy and Belden, CA.
This is the level of silliness I would love to have when confronting these questions.

2: Decrease of physical activity

On trail, your body gets used to hike and burn calories every day. You rarely get the chance to fully rest. Therefore, your body constantly releases endorphines and you always go to bed physically tired but mentaly happy.

Once you complete a thru-hike, you get to rest and you naturally decrease your daily physical activity when living a normal and luxurious life at home. This drop of endorphin release will cause fluctuations in your mood, and additional frustration will come when you have to start paying attention to what and how much you eat.

Trust me when I tell you, you’ll miss that delicious ramen bomb you could eat on the trail without worrying about bloating or gaining weight!

*Lilo digging into her bag of Cheetos like her life depended on them. Etna re-route, CA.*

3: Overwhelming problems & inputs

On the trail, your daily tasks to accomplish are simple, and they soon become part of a “trail routine”. Sure, you always try to “make wise decisions” to survive. But aside from planning the next stretch/resupply, checking where to collect water and pitch your tent, cure your blisters and pains, and look for a good tree to hang your food bag at night, you don’t have to think about crazy problems while on a thru-hike.

When leaving the trail and coming back home however, you’ll have to face many and more complex issues. For example, many thru-hikers quit their job to go on such an adventure. They might have to face a period of financial instability and a frustrating job hunt once they return home. Let’s be honest, going back to work after such an adventure isn’t everyone’s biggest dream!

As this wasn’t enough, all the inputs you get from the real world once you start scrolling on social media, turning on the TV, or talking to people at home are not always “good news” and they might be overwhelming after a long break on trail: wars, politics, pollution, climate change… the re-realization of how fucked up our planet really is could be a lot to digest at once.

*The pinecone head I got when planning a resupply in town was anyway better than dealing with “real world” problems. San Jacinto, CA.*

4: People

Once at home, you’ll miss the incredible and like-minded community of the trail that made you feel accepted as you are, beautiful, strong and unique. You’ll miss your trail friends, who made you feel like part of a tribe, part of something bigger and, most importantly, made you feel loved and at home.

Don’t get me wrong, friends and family at home are awesome, but you’ll inevitably have so many interactions with people who just don’t (and will never) get it. They don’t get what you went through and experienced during your thru-hike. They don’t get what a thru-hike is and why on earth would you want to pursue such a dream (are you crazy?!). And, of course, they don’t get what you are going through now that you’re done with your adventure.

You will for sure interact with people who will make stupid jokes about your experience and who will try to mock you, without even knowing how important that dream meant (and still means) to you.

As an example, I had a live interview at the radio, where I got the chance to talk about my experience on the Pacific Crest Trail.
My main goal was to show people that, if I managed to thru-hike it, everyone could do it. That you just need dedication and passion, and that “difficult” does not mean “impossible”.
Instead, I felt like I was not given enough space to talk and to express myself. I felt a bit mocked during the interview and was even told at some point that “I looked traumatized from my experience on the trail”. Yeah, how funny.

*The Wocka Wockas, the people we miss and think about every day. Northern Terminus, WA.*

5: “Trail life” vs “normal life”

A thru-hike can become a life-changing journey, an adventure that changes your perspective of life. The tough and simple life on the trail makes you appreciate the small things that you always gave for granted in “normal life”, such as electricity, running water, a flushing toilet, a warm shower or a comfy bed.

It is possible that, once you come back home, you feel like a different person with different interests. You simply feel changed and you struggle to fit in the life you had before hitting the trail. You feel disconnected from people, activities, discussions, topics, problems (your own and other people’s)… basically from everything.

Additionally, you might feel pressured to adhere and follow the rules of society (which you happily avoided on trail), such as looking into a mirror every morning and paying attention to your aspect (and smell), shaving, smiling all the time (even when you’re dying inside), finding a job, getting your shit together.

Suddenly, everything in your normal life becomes overwhelming: the noise, the crowds, the parties, the scheduled meetings, the stress, the questions, the “non-sense” talks, the quantity of stuff we own, the luxury we live in… everything is too much, and all you want is to pack your gear, go back into the woods and eat ramen noodles with your trail family.

How to overcome it?

So… after so much negative talk, let’s look at something positive. I keep telling myself that this is just a phase, that all these negative feelings will not last forever, that time will heal my broken heart and nostalgia for the trail, and that I am a fighter: if I managed to walk from Mexico to Canada, why on earth shouldn’t I be able to overcome Post Trail Depression?!

Here is everything Chef and I are doing at the moment for fighting our negative feelings, four months after completing the PCT and coming back home. Because yes, we are both still in it… yes, we are both trying our best… and yes, I am sure it will soon get better.

1: Set new life goals

We both think that, to overcome the sudden loss of a goal, it’s extremely important to set new goals in your “normal life”. These goals could be related to anything that you want to achieve in your life, and should provide something to look forward to.

Sports:
Both Chef and I decided to start running and subscribed to two big races, a Marathon in Zurich and a Ultra Trail in Zermatt. We took this decision partly because we needed to move our bodies and be outside, and partly because we needed a new big challenge in front of us.
Job:
I (Lilo) quit my job for hiking the PCT. I am now facing some difficulties, because I am not willing to follow the same old path I have always taken. My last job did not make me happy, so I am now looking for a career shift, for something new, for a change in my life. I want to find something that makes me smile at the end (and beginning) of the day.
While applying for a few jobs in the biotech field, I decided to volunteer (wwoof) at a small organic farm for a few weeks. BEST DECISION EVER! The farm is called “Bungerthof” and is located in the small village of Berg am Irchel, in the countryside of Zurich. I had a phenomenal stay and met such incredible and unique people. I really enjoyed the work at the farm, learned a lot, and realized that this is actually a lifestyle I could imagine to adopt one day.
Oh, and later this year I’ll have another small adventure: I’ll be running a mountain hut for a week together with Chef! Who knows where we’ll be next :)

The friendly sheep at Bungerthof, the small organic farm where I volunteered for a few weeks.
We had to move their fence every 4 days, so that the consumed terrain could regenerate, and so that they could graze on fresh grass. These sheep were all pregnant, and I just can’t wait to visit the farm once the little lambs are born!

*Proudly presenting a jar of self-made Chriesi Gomfi (Cherry Jam), prepared with love by us women at Bungerthof.*

Hobbies:
I am (and always have been) obsessed with trying new hobbies. Hobbies allow me to be curious, to learn new artistic skills and to relax my mind. They also provide little goals to reach every day (like finishing a knitting project or learning how to bake a specific cake).
At the moment, I am reading fantasy books, blogging, knitting and baking. Oh, and don’t get me started about gardening… we are planning biiiig things for our rooftop in Zurich!

*I will never forget the smell of this fresh self-made Hefezopf (Braided Bread) baking in the oven of the Backstube at Bungerthof on Saturday mornings.*

*My current knitting project.*
*I am a happy person when I can knit on the train while listening to a podcast… or even better, to an episode of Gilmore Girls playing in the background.*

2: Practice sports & go outside

Move your body, go outside and spend time in nature… chase that feeling of being on trail, it will not disappoint! We believe that physical activity is really beneficial to both body and soul, especially after completing a thru-hike… you’ll miss those endorphines.

As already mentioned, both Chef and I decided to embrace a new challenge and started running. To have a defined goal in front of us, we subscribed to two races: a Marathon and a Ultra Trail. We are now training for the marathon and we love it… the long runs allow us to mentally detouch from everything and make us feel like we’re back on trail, back in time :)

*Training for the Zurich Marathon is now what defines our weeks.*

3: Reconnect with trail friends

Fellow thru-hikers are the only people who will ever fully understand what you experienced on trail and what you are going through now that your adventure is over. Therefore, we strongly recommend to reconnect with them… talking about the trail and finding out that you’re not alone in this might be very helpful.

Chef and I are still in contact with our trail family and often send each other pictures and life updates.
Moreover, we decided to create a whatsapp group and get in contact with PCT hikers living in our country, Switzerland. It was so cool to notice how everyone met each other on the trail at different times… even if we didn’t meet some people, someone else we knew did! Therefore, this is also a great opportunity to make new friends… after all, we all have in common something very important: the unforgettable experience of life on the trail, and we all miss it so much!

For my 30st birthday in December, I decided to organize something special and to spend the evening where I most feel at home: the forest. It was a big reunion between friends from home and friends met on the trail. It was cold, but the talks around the fire reminded me of the evenings on the PCT and warmed my heart.

4: Be patient & give yourself time

If you feel like your mood is not improving or you’re still experiencing a lot of ups and downs after coming back home from the trail, try to be patient with yourself. Give yourself time… it is normal to feel this way, to feel a sense of emptiness in your stomach and to miss the trail so much. Time will slowly make you feel better. Remember you’re not alone in this and that the trail still is (and will always be) out there for you.

Now I know this is easier said than done… I am writing this because I also need to hear it and to believe in it!

However, if you feel like the situation is going out of control, you only feel low all the time and you never see the light at the end of the tunnel, don’t hesitate and don’t be ashamed to contact a specialist to talk to!

Charlieeeeeeeee! The sweetest and most patient boy on the organic farm of Bungerthof. Every morning during our coffee meeting, he was sitting below my chair, staring up to me, patiently waiting to be cuddled. However, I had the feeling he was also checking up on me, to make sure I was feeling ok.

5: Dream about new adventures

Start dreaming about new adventures and allow yourself to get obsessed with them, the same way you probably did with the thru-hike you just completed. A new adventure could be your next thru-hike, but also your next job, your next house or your next chapter of your life! Having something to look forward to will for sure improve your “post trail blues”!

I already started thinking about my next thru when I was still on the PCT. As many other thru-hikers, I fell in love with the idea of completing all three big trails in the USA (the PCT or Pacific Crest Trail, the AT or Appalachian Trail, and the CDT or Continental Divide Trail).
Why?
Well, because I miss trail life, the people, and because these trails all offer completely different experiences. Aaaand to receive the “Triple Crown” 👑
However, Chef and I decided to stay home and explore our country next Summer: we will be hiking shorter trails in Switzerland, like the Via Alta Valle Maggia… and we can’t wait!

Post Trail Depression